Jokes and Puns

Discussion in 'General Off-Topic' started by WentwardB60, Nov 21, 2018.

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  1. urbanestdog45

    urbanestdog45
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    wouldn’t that be a toilet paper factory but smell like poop and pee
     
    #181 urbanestdog45, Jan 26, 2020
  2. pixeaudi

    pixeaudi
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    Why one car in GTA is called Futo?
    Because nani? Kansei doriFUTO?
     
    #182 pixeaudi, Jan 26, 2020
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  3. CaptainZoll

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    or because fu-to = to-fu = tofu = the stuff that the dude delivers up the mountain pass in initial d.
     
    #183 CaptainZoll, Jan 30, 2020
  4. GotNoSable!

    GotNoSable!
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    a horse walked into a bar
    the bar-tender asks "why the long face?"
    the horse says "my alcohol addiction is tearing my familiy apart. whiskey on the rocks please."
     
    #184 GotNoSable!, Jan 30, 2020
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  5. GotNoSable!

    GotNoSable!
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    Chrysler Cordoba virus.
    Symptoms: Poor rustproofing, low power, terrible handling.
     
    #185 GotNoSable!, Feb 4, 2020
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  6. MrAnnoyingDude

    MrAnnoyingDude
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    FB_IMG_1580389698831.jpg
     
    #186 MrAnnoyingDude, Feb 8, 2020
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  7. pixeaudi

    pixeaudi
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    Just three words: Orange Peel P50
     
    #187 pixeaudi, Feb 8, 2020
  8. MrAnnoyingDude

    MrAnnoyingDude
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    Last Friday I wanted to play GTA after school. Soon after my classes ended, I stole several cars, robbed a convenience store and took part in a big police shootout.


    Then I came home and started playing GTA.
     
    #188 MrAnnoyingDude, Feb 9, 2020
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  9. MrAnnoyingDude

    MrAnnoyingDude
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    A car dealer asks a new employee:

    - How do you think we keep our cars so shiny here?

    The employee replies:

    - Polish?

    And the dealer says:

    - Jak pana zdaniem utrzymujemy na tych samochodach taki połysk?
     
    #189 MrAnnoyingDude, Apr 30, 2020
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  10. MrAnnoyingDude

    MrAnnoyingDude
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    Why is the Buick Century called Century?

    Because you have to be 100 to drive one.
     
    #190 MrAnnoyingDude, May 4, 2020
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  11. mansenilsson

    mansenilsson
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    why did the chicken cross the road
     
    #191 mansenilsson, May 4, 2020
  12. MrAnnoyingDude

    MrAnnoyingDude
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    I went to open.spotify.com and saw a server error.

    Does it mean it's now closed.spotify.com?
     
    #192 MrAnnoyingDude, May 8, 2020
  13. Phym

    Phym
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    So, I have a boy dog, and he has a mom.

    So I guess that makes my dog a son of a bitch?
     
    #193 Phym, May 8, 2020
  14. pixeaudi

    pixeaudi
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    What do you call a Ford Fiesta that's run out of gas?
    - A Ford Siesta
     
    #194 pixeaudi, Aug 1, 2020
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  15. WentwardB60

    WentwardB60
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    Haha xD

    Why?

    Haha I suppose so!
    Yeah, actually. that word did kinda change its meaning didn't it.
    Haha yeah xD
     
    #195 WentwardB60, Aug 1, 2020
  16. KrukasKlep

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    Soiled Bendover
     
    #196 KrukasKlep, Aug 1, 2020
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  17. Phym

    Phym
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    As the motorist put it when he wrapped his sports car around a tree,”That’s the way the Mercedes Benz!”.



    Cringe I know.
     
    #197 Phym, Aug 1, 2020
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  18. mansenilsson

    mansenilsson
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    I dont remember
     
    #198 mansenilsson, Aug 1, 2020
  19. IDontKnow

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    What is a pirate's favorite car? The Honda Civic Type ARRR!
    Edit: the thread creator, Wentward B60 liked this post!
     
    #199 IDontKnow, Aug 3, 2020
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2020
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  20. G-Farce

    G-Farce
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    What's the fastest car? VTEC
     
    #200 G-Farce, Aug 4, 2020
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