Update Speculation thread

Now we have only 80 scarecrows. Typo or removing buggy scarecrows to be able to release update?

 

They supposedly been going crazy, updating the game every hour or 30 minutes, according to SteamDB

 

When it's the day everyone said the update would be released by and it still isn't out



@¿Carbohydration?

 

They're not always right.

 

100% true. that's definitely gonna become an overused pic on this forums from me.

 

Is it safe to assume that the update will be out within a week?

 

It is a Halloween update, so I would say so.

 

Shit.
Can we boycott Tdev posting so I don't have to make these things...

Spoiler: Sigh

177
What is the importance of 177, you may ask?
You're asking about 177
You from my point of view, are a random person.
The most likely name for a random person is "Muhammad" according to the average usage of names across the world
Muhammad is a popular name in the Middle East.
The Middle East is close to Africa.
Africa
Africa contains Swaziland.
Swaziland was featured prominently in my last m̶e̶t̶h̶ ̶s̶e̶s̶s̶i̶o̶n̶ I mean theory.
I made a joke.
By explaining the joke, it would make it not funny.
Unfunny.
Unfunny is the opposite of my life, which is humorous in a morbid way.
That was self deprecating humor.
Opposite of self deprecating humor.
The opposite of self deprecating humor is joking about how great I am.
I am very great.
That was a contradiction, as I previously said my life was humorously awful.
All of these m̶e̶t̶h̶ ̶s̶e̶s̶s̶i̶o̶n̶s I mean theories are full of contradictions.
Full of contradictions.
Full of contra.
Lets go back to Swaziland.
Swaziland is in South Africa
The South African National Anthem as sung in english is:
"Sounds the call to come together,
And united we shall stand,
Let us live and strive for freedom
In South Africa our land."
This has 121 Characters.
121 is 68.36 percent.
South Africa is full of Contra
Contra is a Shoot em up video game.
It came out in 1987
1987 might as well be 1986.
1986 was the year the Swazilands leader, Mswati III
Mswati III is criticized for government corruption.
Government corruption can often lead to brutality through the means of armed police.
Shooting up from armed police.
Shoot em up.
We can conclude that Armed Police in Swaziland have played Contra.
Contra is from the NES.
The NES came with Duck Hunt, along with a toy gun.
The toy gun (NES Zapper) is usually in orange.
Orange
Oranges grow between 55 and 100 degrees farenheit.
Oranges in Swaziland.
In Mbabane, Swaziland, it would usually reach near the low end of the spectrum.
55 degrees is usually called chilly.
Chilly sounds like Chili.
You would have to be pretty messed up to put Oranges in Chili.
Remember that 68.36 percent?
68.36
Lets take the liberty of removing that decimal...
6836 Oranges.
Say you want to make a Chili in a vat with 1/4 oranges, and 3/4 normal chili, using all the 6836 oranges we have.
Oranges average about 8 centimeters in diameter.
A sphere that big would have a volume of 268 cubic cm.
Thats 268 cubic cm, times 6386 is 1,711,448 cubic cm, or 1.7 cubic meters x 4 for the total volume of the chili, is 6.8 cubic meters.
Remember that armed police statistic?
lets take some more liberty and change that to just regular police.
The amount of police in the United States is about 800000.
If you wanted to evenly divide 6.8 cubic meters into servings, each police officer would have 8.5 cubic cm of chili.
Thats about 30th of a cup.
Considering the calorie density of chili (260 calories per cup) and Oranges (40 calories per cup) is 205 calories per cup, 8.5 cubic cm of this chili contains 6.8 calories.
The average person loses 100 calories per mile of running.
The new Italy map is 4 km across.
4 km in miles is 2.48 km, or 248 calories burned.
You would need 36 and a half containers of this special Orange Chili.

Therefore, we can conclude...

The devs will include 36 and a half containers of orange chili to ensure the average player can traverse Italy when it comes out.


(TL;DR, the devs are cooking up some dank ass orange chili)

 

^ I got lost in the middle of the theory, but I understood it.

 

Slightly off topic, but has there ever been an update on a wednesday, it just doesn't feel right

 

How about Tuesday late evening? Maybe that would work, but then again they just did lot of updating, so maybe those were last bug fixes for bugs found in testing?

It really does not matter so much which day it is, but from work perspective Wed update or Mon update would make sense as they could deal with the hazzle during normal hours (do devs even know meaning of normal hours? ) without need to spend whole weekend on it.

 

tuesday maybe, but wednesday will be a bit silly, halloween mod for one day

 

if they're doing a Halloween update at this point most people need it to last past Halloween to enjoy it, will that be happening or not?

 

Well, it will be Halloween even at Wed and I guess that then at latest or if big issues are found then even later, but they will deliver.

It is not like certain car and certain update of certain other game, that will soon be 10 years in waiting I guess, anniversary coming at December.
That 8 days has been a long one and is a very good lesson not to give out dates or promises of content, things might happen, you never know what things.

But how it can be that things go so badly wrong that 8 days becomes 10 years or maybe even more? I do not understand, but it is not nice situation for devs or users and thus never give out promises of content or dates of releases. Surprises work better.

 

What game?

 

I would of written that if I wanted to tell

They have had enough trouble from that already, I'm sure, game still is fine.

 

Uwu pls @tdev!!1! i need updaet NAOWZ!!111!1!11!one!!eleven!!one! iwi

/s

Seriously, though - any idea of how close the update is to complete?

 

This update can't be any longer put on a typical spectrum.

It's a function of daily updates on the Piccolina, Italy, Vulkan and neat features, divided by cups of coffee, squared by the number of development concept change, multiplied by "when its's ready"