Experimental Portable Porch .69

The Portable Porch
We've all had that one snobby neighbor who thinks his porch is the best on the block. You know him. I know him. We all know him.
It's time to leave him slack jawed staring at the midwest's best beer-guzzling barbeque-hosting long-goodbye-having PORTABLE PORCH.

Yes. You heard it right the first time. You heard it right the second time.
It's a porch, and it's portable.
In-fact, it's not only portable, it's fast. With a topspeed of 220 miles per hour. You'll never miss a cookout again.
Planning on bringing the block party to the porch? Nah. Bring the porch to the block party. A few people may leave in body bags (because it's quite unsafe and unstable) but that only adds to the fun.

Bring your own beer?
Nah, bring your own porch.