i think that exists, you just have to go to the in-game settings, and turn off "start car with engine on" and "start car with warmed up engine"
I suggest using the "Better Starter" mod https://www.beamng.com/threads/better-starter.94118/ Also, make sure to uncheck "start vehicles engines preheated" and set the default ignition state to anything but "vehicle : running" These options can be found in the Gameplay tab of your options menu.