Hello reader! So I created this thread for all you people who have created some jokes and puns to share with everyone here. It can be any joke, as long as it isn't offensive, so clever jokes, cool jokes, witty jokes, funny jokes, even cringey jokes are all welcome here! This thread was created just to bring smiles and laughter to all you guys, including myself. So to get the ball rolling, here's the first line of a joke I made up just over a week ago: Do you know why choir school is hiring? I'm really looking forward to hearing your reply to this joke and all your other jokes!
A man brings a cat to a church and says that he wants it baptized. The priest replies: - I can't do it, it's a soulless animal. It would be sacrilege. The man asks: - Will you do it for a hundred thousand dollars? - No. - Will you do it for two hundred thousand dollars? - No. - Will you do it for half a million dollars? - Maybe... - Will you do it for a million dollars? - OK. So the priest baptized the cat like he would baptize a baby. After that, he phoned the bishop and said: - Your Excellence, I baptized a cat... The bishop replied: - What have you done?! It's an animal with no soul! It's sacrilege! It's a scandal! The priest told him: - But I got a million dollars, and I'm willing to split it even... - Even? Fifty-fifty? - Yes. The bishop exclaimed: - Prepare that cat for his first communion, confirmation and marriage!
It's not going to be good, but here's a quick "joke" anyways: Why is ocean water saltier than freshwater? Salt companies never dump their salt in the freshwater, but always does it in seawater, just so people wouldn't take the natural route for water.
That's why I put quotations around joke, because even I can't really see it as a joke (I don't have a good sense of humor, unsurprisingly).
I just asked Google Home to tell me a joke. It asked "What is on the back of every car in Ontario?" It said "It's yours to discover."
Puns are my forte... --- Post updated --- Just thought of another. Oh look! It's A Dell. (Adelle, hint, hint)
A hitchiker is taken by an elderly couple in an RV. During the trip, the husband, driving the vehicle, says "152", and the couple laughs. Then the wife says "365" and they also laugh. The hitchhiker then asks "What's the deal with these numbers?" The old man replies: "We've been telling each other jokes for such a long time that we memorized and numbered them all, and now only refer to them by numbers." A few minutes after hearing that, the hitchhiker says "984", and the couple heartily laughs for quite some time. The hitchkiker asks "Is it that funny?" The old man replies "No, but it's the first time we're hearing this one!"
