A mid-00s pre-financial crisis piece of economy dreariness by the well known american automaker Chevron™.
This all-new model features:
- An I6, a compromise to your big ol' V8 libruls took away.
- Handling about as sharp as your dreadful 2000s suburban lifestyle
- More or less kind of ok MPG. Just like your marriage.
- A design made by a stylist about as drunk as you are every evening wanting to end it all.
- Everything cheap. Be careful with the buttons, they might break!
Driving this car, you will experience the ultimate Chevron™ feeling. This includes:
- You don't have to drive your kids anywhere. They are embarassed by your car and you.
- Every time you pull into the parking lot, your inferiority complex reminds you that you are just a corporate wage slave earning money for your boss (who's driving an ETK).
- Noone ever looks at you. Especially when you are in the car.
- You remember your childhood bully, Brad. You are still sad.
So come on down to your local Chevron™ dealer to check out this staple of suburban american post-9/11 depression™ and discuss financing with one of our partners!
Starting at $18,000. You remember how you started saving that money planning to buy a sportscar. Guess what. It's Chevron™ time!®
© 2006 by Chevron Motors Inc.
2006 Chevron Confidence 1
To confidently show that you have lost all confidence.