Jokes and Puns

Discussion in 'General Off-Topic' started by WentwardB60, Nov 21, 2018.

  1. SquarebodyChevy

    SquarebodyChevy
    Expand Collapse

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2018
    Messages:
    135
    NEW SUPERMARKET

    A new Public supermarket opened. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.

    Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

    When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.

    In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.

    When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

    The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.

    I don't buy toilet paper there any more.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  2. urbanestdog45

    urbanestdog45
    Expand Collapse

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2018
    Messages:
    100
    wouldn’t that be a toilet paper factory but smell like poop and pee
     
  3. pixeaudi

    pixeaudi
    Expand Collapse

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2018
    Messages:
    94
    Why one car in GTA is called Futo?
    Because nani? Kansei doriFUTO?
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. CaptainZoll

    CaptainZoll
    Expand Collapse

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2016
    Messages:
    1,348
    or because fu-to = to-fu = tofu = the stuff that the dude delivers up the mountain pass in initial d.
     
  5. GotNoSable!

    GotNoSable!
    Expand Collapse
    Banned

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2019
    Messages:
    952
    a horse walked into a bar
    the bar-tender asks "why the long face?"
    the horse says "my alcohol addiction is tearing my familiy apart. whiskey on the rocks please."
     
    • Like Like x 2
  6. GotNoSable!

    GotNoSable!
    Expand Collapse
    Banned

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2019
    Messages:
    952
    Chrysler Cordoba virus.
    Symptoms: Poor rustproofing, low power, terrible handling.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  7. MrAnnoyingDude

    MrAnnoyingDude
    Expand Collapse

    Joined:
    May 4, 2016
    Messages:
    2,064
    FB_IMG_1580389698831.jpg
     
    • Like Like x 3
  8. pixeaudi

    pixeaudi
    Expand Collapse

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2018
    Messages:
    94
    Just three words: Orange Peel P50
     
  9. MrAnnoyingDude

    MrAnnoyingDude
    Expand Collapse

    Joined:
    May 4, 2016
    Messages:
    2,064
    Last Friday I wanted to play GTA after school. Soon after my classes ended, I stole several cars, robbed a convenience store and took part in a big police shootout.


    Then I came home and started playing GTA.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice