Jokes and Puns

Discussion in 'General Off-Topic' started by WentwardB60, Nov 21, 2018.

  1. MrAnnoyingDude

    MrAnnoyingDude
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    John Lennon: "Imagine there's no heaven".

    God: "Imagine there's no John Lennon".
     
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  2. Ytrewq

    Ytrewq
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    Mom: "Eat your food or I'll call the policeman!"
    Kid: "You think the policeman wants it?"
     
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  3. MrAnnoyingDude

    MrAnnoyingDude
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  4. Ytrewq

    Ytrewq
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    Middle of the night. A couple is woken up from their sleep by the doorbell ringing. The husband goes to the door, opens it and finds a man outside, who says, "I'm sorry, but I really need a push". The homeowner replies, "Sorry, I want to sleep", and goes back to the bed. Upon finding out what the stranger asked for, the wife becomes angry, saying: "How could you do that? Remember when our car broke down deep in the countryside and some guy helped us push it to the closest garage during pouring rain? You must go and help that poor dude!". The man goes back to the door, but finds nobody there, so he yells into the darkness: "Hey, dude, I'll give you a push! Where are you?". A happy voice answers: "Over here at the playground, sitting on the swing!".
     
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  5. ZoZo:)

    ZoZo:)
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    GoOd TReAd MaNE!
     
  6. Alex_Farmer557

    Alex_Farmer557
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    not a joke
     
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  7. ZoZo:)

    ZoZo:)
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    OkEy
     
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