Separate names with a comma.
Discussion in 'General Off-Topic' started by WentwardB60, Nov 21, 2018.
John Lennon: "Imagine there's no heaven".
God: "Imagine there's no John Lennon".
Mom: "Eat your food or I'll call the policeman!"
Kid: "You think the policeman wants it?"
Middle of the night. A couple is woken up from their sleep by the doorbell ringing. The husband goes to the door, opens it and finds a man outside, who says, "I'm sorry, but I really need a push". The homeowner replies, "Sorry, I want to sleep", and goes back to the bed. Upon finding out what the stranger asked for, the wife becomes angry, saying: "How could you do that? Remember when our car broke down deep in the countryside and some guy helped us push it to the closest garage during pouring rain? You must go and help that poor dude!". The man goes back to the door, but finds nobody there, so he yells into the darkness: "Hey, dude, I'll give you a push! Where are you?". A happy voice answers: "Over here at the playground, sitting on the swing!".
GoOd TReAd MaNE!
not a joke
A kid is buying a toy car and gives the cashier a hand-drawn bill. The cashier says, "Boy, that's not a real bill!". The boy replies, "But that's not a real car!"
A trucker calls his boss and asks:
-I just ran a pig over, what now?
The boss asks him:
- Truck's OK?
- So bury it and drive away.
Then the trucker disconnects, and later calls again. The boss asks him:
- You buried it?
- Yes, but I don't know what to do with the cop car.
A man walks into the doctor's office, waiting for his diagnosis.
-Doctor, is the diagnosis ready? I'm dying from curiosity!
The doctor replies:
-Not only from curiosity, Gerald...
If i take a vacuum and clean it. Does that make me a vacuum cleaner
A man picks up a hitchhiker. After a few minutes the hitchhiker says “I’m surprised you picked me up, how do you know I’m not a serial killer?”
The man replies “the chances of two serial killers in this car is astronomical.”
What is the most memetic band?
What's funny about the cop car?
"Pig" is a slang term for a police officer.
well I cant believe that flew over my head. Took me way too long to get that
An old man was driving home from work when his phone rang. It was his wife, “Herman, I just heard on the news there’s a car going the wrong way on highway 401. Please be careful!”
“Doris,” he said, “It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!”
Why does Bob Seger laugh when he's playing chess?
Well, ain't it funny how the knight moves?
why did the bicycle fall over?
because it was too tired.
sometimes, it's hard to get to downtown Toronto
why do you ask?, well it's 404, highway not found