Pick the trollsy messages to be sprayed on my new beater!

Discussion in 'Automotive' started by Shotgun Chuck, Aug 24, 2017.

  1. Shotgun Chuck

    Shotgun Chuck
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    I finally sealed the deal and bought my $280 Escort wagon, already flat black from a previous owner. I have florescent orange spray paint and am planning to acquire lettering stencils; when this is done, I plan to apply obnoxious messages to the tailgate and possibly hood of this car. So, help me come up with ideas for what they should say.

    First I came up with was "NO WAY YOULL CATCH ME" on the tailgate and "NO WAY YOULL ESCAPE" on the hood, with that one possibly reversed to show up properly in rear view mirrors. Others don't bear mentioning due to being either stupid or too dark.

    Whatever message is eventually applied will likely be accompanied by flames off all four wheel wells, along with large #92s on both front doors and the roof.
     
  2. ManfredE3

    ManfredE3
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    Would you like to go to levels of Top Gear UK that got them chased out of a gas station in Alabama?
     
  3. Shotgun Chuck

    Shotgun Chuck
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    Probably not, no. I'm looking more for "wannabe tryhard bad dude" here. If I tell you that my usual outfit involves a leather jacket and a camouflage bandana, and I had (still technically have) a stopwatch taped to my Sunbird's rear view mirror, it might give you a better idea of what I'm after.
     
  4. DriftinCovet1987

    DriftinCovet1987
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    Do you mind if I suggest something Beam-related? Or would that be too confusing?
     
  5. Shotgun Chuck

    Shotgun Chuck
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    Probably too confusing for other drivers but go ahead, I might like it.

    Two I considered and decided against were "One foot on the pedal, one foot in the grave" (too dark) and "You want your donut, you gotta catch me first" (Bright orange flames and numbers will probably get enough police attention, especially as 10-92 is the Alaska State Troopers' code for reckless driving and that's why I chose #92).
     
  6. DriftinCovet1987

    DriftinCovet1987
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    Well, I'm thinking of something like this:

    Back: "Your car is slower than a Pigeon", no specific style.

    Front: "My car is an SBR4 underneath", no specific style.
     
  7. Shotgun Chuck

    Shotgun Chuck
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    Yeah, probably too confusing. I'll probably be the only one in Alaska who knows what any of that means.
     
  8. DriftinCovet1987

    DriftinCovet1987
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    Alright...I thought so. What about these, though?

    Back: "Ermahgerd, your kerr is so slow."

    Front: "Y U No run away from me crappy kerr?"
     
    #8 DriftinCovet1987, Aug 24, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2017
  9. YellowRusty

    YellowRusty
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    Mirrored on front bumper:

    « MOVE OVER
     
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  10. Giraffinator

    Giraffinator
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    How about "Hit me, I dare you."?

    Maybe even "UR CAR WILL BE SCRAP METAL"
     
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  11. MrAnnoyingDude

    MrAnnoyingDude
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    Go on, hit. Mine is cheaper to fix.
     
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  12. ¿Carbohydration?

    ¿Carbohydration?
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    How about you write:

    "Walruses are buetiful creatures and deserve care and proper treatment."

    Idk
     
  13. Slammington

    Slammington
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    #NoLivesMatter when the rich get richer (and a little trump stencil next to it)

    The brave don't fear the grave (tacky as hell but goes with the wannabe tough-guy look)

    Guns don't kill people, but I might! (probably too dark)

    Go ahead and tailgate me, my bumper is cheaper than yours :) (I especially love this one)
     
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  14. The F12 of Maranello

    The F12 of Maranello
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    Test your airbags here. I don't have so who cares.
    (If your car did really comes with airbags then replace the last sentence with: "Mine's are so cheap so who cares.")
     
    #14 The F12 of Maranello, Aug 25, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2017
  15. JBatic

    JBatic
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    I should make that a bumper sticker since everything I'm looking at is dirt cheap for parts
     
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  16. Brown_Diplomat

    Brown_Diplomat
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    Back: My Escort is faster than your mom giving birth.

    Front: My engine can cook a better sausage than your grill.
     
  17. Shotgun Chuck

    Shotgun Chuck
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    Alright, I'm pretty sure I'm going with the "go ahead, hit me" one for the back end as someone almost ran me over again today. I guess this is payback for all the times I've tried to, uh, motivate slow drivers to speed up.
     
  18. Fast-Subaru71

    Fast-Subaru71
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    "Less electrical parts, less issues"
    "Car of the year 2k12"
    "No airbags = weight reduction"
    "At least I'm not indebted"

    Also, something like this may be funny as well :
     
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  19. whelan11

    whelan11
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    upload_2017-8-26_22-59-6.png hi is this good
     
  20. Shotgun Chuck

    Shotgun Chuck
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